Emptiness

I read in the speaking tree an article about Abhinav Bindra saying he felt a strange emptiness after winning the gold. Not that he was unhappy but somehow he felt empty. For, all his life he had strived for this moment... and now finally when the moment had arrived it made him realise his quest is over. Over time he had come to enjoy his journey towards the Olympic gold. A dream of every sportsman. Now what will he strive for? I mean really at the age of 26 he is left with no goal to pursue! Well that’s kind of depressing isn’t it :)

I experienced the same emptiness yesterday. Since last year when i bought my laptop i had been trying to make a record in by winning minesweeper, the expert level on my laptop. I had cleared the novice and the intermediate long back but the expert level kept eluding me.

I would reach the end of the game most of the times and then there used to be a pure chance based decision and yes it would mostly turn out to be wrong... and then I would ask God as to why does he do that? Shouldn’t success always depend on the person’s ability and not on pure chance factor?

But yesterday, after 436 unsuccessful attempts, when i clicked the last cell which made me win the game finally... I felt awesome... :) but once it was over and it merely asked me if i wanted to play again, i realised now there was no goal left in my life! I had mastered minesweeper’s expert level too...!!!

Now what will i do every time my internet is super slow and i am looking for a time pass till the site opens? I realised what Abhinav Bindra must have felt like... emptiness...

Guess now I should move onto some other game. However, in the end it is always an emptiness that will greet me...

Guess as it says, enjoy the journey to Ithaca, the demons, the beauty, everything of it, coz Ithaca in itself will hold nothing for you, but don’t be disappointed when you find Ithaca and realise it has nothing to offer, remember it offered you the journey and all the riches you gathered along the journey.. Ultimately that is what Ithaca was really about!

But all said and done I must say Microsoft windows should at the least have some place wherein it records the names of the high scorers.. I mean honestly for all the efforts that i put in in the 437 games all i get is a window asking me whether i wanted to play again!!

Well, why will i want to play again... when I have just won my personal Olympic gold of it :)