More than just strength

they all said he faced it well.

he is strong is what all felt.

its depressing to think that when we all were broken and crying

scared to even go the place...

he was out there gathering the broken pieces.

doing what was needed and cleaning up the mess.

we all said bravo! and admired his strength

but today i know it was not him who was out there gathering those pieces

it was not him who we saw cleaning up the mess...

he also actually never went there

he also did not have the strength to...

what actually went there to collect the broken pieces was a zombie...

mechanically doing what was needed to be done.

he had blocked it all from his mind his heart...

never spoke about it, not even to himself...

for the sake of the responsibilities that lied ahead of him...

The luxury of being scared was not for him.

Today when you told me this,

it took me back to those days..

harrowing as they were,

i would still say, no one could have handled it better.

but it would have been better if you would have been stronger

when you could have indeed not blocked it out...

cried about it and yet cleaned up the mess.

It is very tough I know,

but it is the better way of doing it.

hope you never face such a situation again in life,

but if ever you do, 

remember to be more than just strong...

Pocrescophobia

noun  the fear of gaining weight

I made fun of people who took to dieting; people who compromised on cheese sandwich or chocolate pastry for the sake of saving a few calories.

I always thought life is too beautiful and avoiding cheese and chocolates are too big sacrifices. Ones that make life downright meaningless.

I mean how does a person eat a sandwich without cheese!

Or how does one go to CCD and not indulge in a chocolate fantasy! Of course with extra chocolate sauce on top of it!

Isn’t this what makes life beautiful?

I was in glee. Merrily enjoying the gooey, melted, yummy ‘sizzling chocolate brownie with nuts and vanilla ice cream’ when a friend politely told me to leave the rest of the chocolate.

I looked at him with the are-you-kiddin-me look... 

and he replied with a you-are-on-the-verge-of-going-out-of-shape look!

It shook me.

My world collapsed.

I, for the first time in my life, left chocolate in my plate! I mean, for a person who is used to wiping off chocolate from others’ plate because I believe it is a holy wastage to not finish chocolate, it was downright sinful.

Coming home was worse.

My mom kept on insisting that I join a gym. All my trip photographs were critically analysed, diameter of my arms’ disapproved and every helping of rice during meals was questioned.

It was then that I realized what makes people go through the meaningless diet programs. What motivates them to indeed refrain from having extra cheese in the McChicken or extra chocolate on the pastry…

It is the tire that shows around your belly. It is a constant worry. I have heard that worry makes a person lose weight because if that is so, I will surely lose atleast 3-4 kgs.

All said and done, the alarms have gone off. Its time to check myself. Its time to have McChickens without extra cheese or one day I will have to avoid them altogether.

So I, Pallavi Patil, hereby declare that for the first time in my life, I am going on diet.

God help me avoid all temptations.

Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him. Bible, James (ch. I, v. 12) 

 

             Sizzling Brownie sundae