So how does this work?

Every morning I make a decision. A tough one at that but once made it makes it easy for me to go through the day.

Each morning I decide how much of a mother I can be today.

Will I be a 100% mother? 80% mother? 50% mother or 20% mother.

100% is on weekends.

80% is on very relaxed work days when i can leave early for some reason... Come home, play with Kabir, feed him something interesting, take him out probably.

50% is on regular workdays. Come home on time... Take him swimming or to the garden, feed him, read a book to him.. Put him to sleep.

20% is on days like today. Leave early for office, Come home late, by which time he has already had his food.. Put him to sleep.

Every day I strive to achieve a max percentage of this.

Which also means that each day I try and minimise my other commitment.

Also, irrespective of how much of a mother I am on each day, I am a 100% mother mentally. All the time. subconsciously if not consciously  thinking as a mother me.

How under these circumstances can I ever manage to match up to the performance of the pre-mother me?

Yes I can decide that all weekdays will be 30% or less of mothering and weekends will MOSTLY be all his.

Some do that. And those are the few ones that stand as an exception against the otherwise men majority company leaders.

There are other ways to this -

1. You work for a company which allows you to be a 50-80% mother on all days yet also trusts you enough to put you in a high stakes, key role.
(Oh the work culture shift that this will require!)

2. You be happy with 30% mothering. Kids actually may turn out to be fine irrespective and let your Mother in Law/caretaker/daycare be the 100% mother.

You do not have the option of staying in a conventional work culture company, in a key role, and be a close to 100% mother.

Reason? Simple. There are enough others, who can give their 100% to do your job.

The option 3 then is, to make your 20% 'non-mothering' still better than a 100% of that of those others?

Can you be thaaaat awesome?

PS- percentages in a blog post are a clear indication that I must now get my head out of that darn powerpoint!

Love thy job

The world keeps doing a seemingly important task. Of reminding you of what you do not have.
That's how progress (consumerism) works after all.
It is quite interesting how it on one hand tells you to have the bigger phone, smarter house and at the same time tells you that you must love your job and not work for money.
It is a thorough recipe for making one feel miserable about his or her life.

Dangling a carrot above you and then telling you that building steps to get that carrot is wrong if you do not like building steps.

Love your job. Follow your passion. Shun the 8-7 routine. And then be prepared to be snubbed by that loooong car you see from the auto rickshaw. Brain f***ing material.

The question then arises is does everyone have the luxury to do this? For some the carrot is simply two square meals.

That apart my key point here is of capability and your passion.
In an ideal self - help book you may read that when you are passionate about something you give in your best and the result is always miraculous. Yes. For you.

Is it miraculous enough to get you to the carrot?
Having the luxury to follow your passion is one thing.
But having the Capability to do so, is a different part altogether.

All the inspirational photos and quotes must come with this disclaimer.
So people stop feeling guilty or miserable for taking the road most travelled.

Afterall there are many who did not get an opportunity to travel even that one.

Alternatively, chuck the carrot and go for a lemon instead. Lemons are good too. I like lemons.