A strange stirring

And then a surge of excitement starts to fill you

and you see it in everything you hear or see

you feel like there is something inside you waiting to burst out

and you have never felt so passionate before

Then you wonder what is it about?

and your oversmart mind begins to rationalise something so magical

It wonders if it is temporary or 

is the universe indeed conspiring?

everything around you is trying to tell you that

now is the time and 'now' will never disappoint you

yet crazy as you are, you wait 

wondering if this feeling is permanent or a passing phase

secretly hoping it is not...

no no no hope it is not

Where does one draw a line?

Yes marriage changes a lot of things.

For example, a messy house never bothered me much before I was married!

Why this suddenly?

Well, currently at work I am going through a phase I call ‘madness’

During ‘madness’ you eat-drink-sleep office.

There is so much work to do that you dread weekends because that means there will be a sudden break to the madness and picking it up where you left will be even more difficult.

It is a phase in which you can expect calls at 11:30 pm (on a Sunday) and also calling your boss / agency at any such time is considered perfectly normal.

‘Taking leave’ is a taboo word and anyone uttering it risks being killed merely by looks.

You wake up at 5 am suddenly and start making mental to-do list.

Then you wake up at 5:15 am worrying you may forget this to-do list and hence note it in your phone in whatever spellings you can possibly think of in the half zonked state.

Yes. Madness. That is what is happening right now.

So, this Madness usually does manage to bring out the best in me... I can put in 25 hours in a day and work like a mad woman and get through the madness with job substantially well done.

But yes, in the wake, the house gets messy. Really messy.

And it did not matter when I stayed alone or with roomies.

But now it does. It also matters when the bai does not show up on time. And in the madness, Bai is also on my mind! (I am so surprised).

Marriage changes and how.

It bothers me when I realise that the weekend just went by without me going grocery shopping or simply going out with Salil.

It does pinch when for a few evenings consecutively I go off to sleep on my laptop and wake up and leave home without exchanging a few coherent non-work related sentences with him.

And it bothers me that the fridge is not stocked and it bothers me that the kitchen has utensils all over the place...

And then i wonder is it worth it? Where does one draw a line? What is the whole point?

How long should these phases be allowed to last? 1 month, may be 2? A year?

... and how does one make up for them?

PS: I only have like 5 mins to write and post this, so please excuse any typos.

If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try - Seth Godin

I feel like writing today. After a long long time. Could be a function of a completely relaxed Saturday, coupled by a feeling of things-seem-to-be-on-track-for-now in office and a fact that now I have mastered driving too - giving me a new feeling of independence.

Basically, all in all I feel quite positive about things in general (touchwood). 

Recently, while working on an idea for a one of my brands, I was trying to understand what is on the minds of women generally...educated women, married not too long back, may have a kid...a small survey kind of made me feel both intrigued and relieved.

Intrigued because, almost 99% of women said they wanted Stability and Security from life in the longer run... not money, not career not achievement... but security. (And I thought with all the women empowerment shows, themes and stuff, atleast a good number of women now wanted a decent career and retire at a respectable position alongwith stability security etc. but nope. and these were seemingly career oriented women!)

Relieved because, all of them said that their single biggest challenge was managing the various responsibilities that life brought onto them and especially marriage. they thought the world was tough, but if she stayed on top of things it was good...

I felt relieved because I thought I am the only one who is seeing this as her single biggest challenge in life today.

Marriage changes. and how. Basically it is only economics at the end of the day. Scarce resources such as time and mind share need to be optimised to ensure maximum returns.

time. distributing it between home, office and office work at home and home work at office.

mind share. compartmentalisation of office and home and office politics and relationships.

It is difficult but enjoyable. Really. It makes you feel alive. A wierd kind of alive feeling. A feeling wherein you are running and running and running and tired and running and very tired and running and when you briefly realise that you are enjoying being tired... and why?

because now, you are creating something. 

Till date, it was all about you being created. You being made. you being taken care of. Now it is the other way round. The joy of creation is exhilarating. 

Responsibility can give you a high. 

Loving it for now... totally!

...and this makes it completely worth it :)

PS: This is Being Missus - Part 2 :)

Being Missus - Part 1

The rebel in me was always very clear on one thing…

Life is too short to waste it on boring activities like cooking!!

"I will keep a full time  cook" I would tell my mom… and of course I will ensure that I can afford to keep one :)

I will once in a while try exotic stuff like pastas and pizzas…

And that is about it.

I also once thought that marrying a chef therefore would be a brilliant idea…

But either the rebel in me has died or being a Missus has changed me so much that

I am in love with my kitchen.
And the red masala box is my favorite item in the house.

My favourite app on my droid phone is the one that gives me all sort of recipes including the typical ones like 'vatli daal'!!

My last thought while sleeping each night is - what to cook next day morning...

And I actually tell my husband that we will carry tiffin on a picnic instead of eating out while he insists on the  later...

Yeah mom - you are reading your daughter's blog. No mistake there. And plz wipe those tears… :)

I guess having a proper full fledged kitchen alongwith a super cute hus-baand who patiently  praises/encourages every experiment of mine helps!

I don’t know if I have indeed discovered a new passion…or is it just an initial euphoria...

But I intend to enjoy it to the fullest while it lasts! :)

PS:  The droid app also has a feature wherein you can enter specific items in your kitchen and it will suggest recipes best suited using those!! Now how cool is that!! :) :) :)

Dear Blog,

6 months is a long time I know… and I am sorry… and… what? Of course I missed you! And thought about you so many times!

...Oh come on now... Its true!

Please believe me sweetheart… these past 6 months were the most important 6 months in my life!  It changed so many things!!

...and haven't I always come to you whenever I underwent any major change in my life?

But this time I did not...cause this time, though the change - I was not confused. I really wasn’t.

I know I know… I also come to you when I am not confused and just want to express how I feel!

But this time though I wanted to scream shout and paint the sky rainbow… I was also slightly scared and got a little superstitious (..yeah yeah despite the certainty)

But now all is well and therefore I am back :)

Will certainly give you more time… promise.

By the way… suddenly there are so many things / people / tasks I have to distribute my time amongst...and therefore priortize etc!

I now truly fully understand the importance of all the articles that spoke about time management, work-life balance etc…

And I now also understand and forgive people who suddenly lost touch after getting married…

I can totally understand why… :)

But Blog, I promise to keep you high on my priority list. Truly.

With luv,

ME!

Tipu sets on a journey to Ithaca!

Tipu set out on his journey to Ithaca.Merrily and happily he went on without any worries, free as a bird… 


On his way he came to pond Pristine... it was the most beautiful place he had ever seen in his life! There were ducks in it, beautiful flowers on its banks...The pond was full of rare colorful fish... it was heavenly indeed. 


He was elated!On its banks he set his tent... and took it for his home for a few days.He took care of it and loved it more than himself...Every flower and fish loved him and he loved them back… 


All was beautiful till came a gang of demons.They started to call the pond their own.They did not like Tipu’s presence nor the love for him... 


One day then from the bottom of the pond came up an ugly monster.He killed the flowers, the ducks and the fish and left the pond lifeless. 
The demons found a reason to blame Tipu. They said it was his fault that the monster stayed there.. that he should have taken care and not let it grow,it was Tipu’s fault the flowers are dead and so are the fish...Tipu, who was oh-so-broken already, did not fight back.  


The demons then removed the monster.They wanted to take it far away from the pond...


They asked Tipu to carry it, coz they said it was his fault after all.Tipu did not refuse for he was too broken… They put the beast on his back and asked him to go away, To leave his pond Pristine forever to never come back again.and to carry the monster all the way.. 


Today Tipu has come far away from the place he loved so dearlyStill missing it, still loving it.The monster too is still there…it sits on Tipu’s back all the time. Carrying the monster baggage makes Tipu oh-so-tired.It keeps him from enjoying any other beauty on his way…It reminds him constantly of pond Pristine… 


Wonder why he never put the monster down.Why did he ever agree to carry it at all?why did he succumb to those demons and take blame for no fault of his...?why did he waste his life carrying the monster on his back?not enjoying the beauty on his way...not singing merrily and happily as he previously did...but instead being gloomy and sad all the while… Did he deserve any of it? 


Its time for him to leave the monster here forever and move on...Something he should have done long back.its not too late though... It will be indeed so very light to walk without the baggage..to walk without the heavy beast on his back...to walk freely and without any pain...merrily as had done before he came to pond Pristine! 


and thus continue his journey towards Ithaca..may be find another new pond,as beautiful as his pond Pristine...

Sevai Upma

Sevai Upma is a south Indian breakfast delicacy and quite a yummy one at that…

Ideally it has this rich white colour and a nice soft texture which ain't too dry nor too sticky such that you can actually separate each vermicelli… and it has a beautiful ginger garlic flavour...

It is one of my favourites and therefore I have been trying to learn to make it myself.

They say south Indian food requires more skill to get it right.

It is much more technically intricate than north Indian food where a little deviation from the recipe doesn’t necessarily create a disaster.

...And I learnt this the Sevai Upma way.

Today was my 4th attempt at it. I usually manage to get recipes right in 1-2 attempts   (I know - I am good :) but this one just keeps eluding me!!!

The first time I made it, I grossly underestimated the dish… and therefore the Sevai Upma became all gooey like normal upma.

The next time I showed some respect and consulted the internet regarding the recipe… but still no luck… 

I was so paranoid about overcooking it that the upma remained a little uncooked!

The third time it was cooked alright but still the right smoothness and the absolutely beautiful texture was missing… and I realized I used the wrong vermicelli… :P

So today, I entered the kitchen armed with the right vermicelli, right recipe, right ingredients - including an attitude which said "Do not think - just religiously follow the instructions"…

But yet again… I messed up!! And this time I really do not know what went wrong!

And I have no energy left to find out.

I therefore officially give up on this one :(

Diwali Downpour!

There is something about this festival that makes me so very happy...


Diwali means going home at any cost
It also means lights, colors, flowers, lanterns and rangoli...


Diwali means a trip to main road in super crowded, brightly lit streets...
and it also means waking up very early to the sound of crackers!


It means early morning abhyang snaan and dad's tape of Gayatri Mantra...


Diwali means so many things... right since i was a kid...


Back then it also meant new clothes and showing them off...
It meant holidays and playing the whole day!


Diwali was about - whose rangoli is better and who has more interesting crackers...
It also meant going to everybody's house for 'faral'...


But never ever ever did it mean... rains!


It is Diwali night and it is pouring crazy... my Akash Kandil is all ruined and the weather outside is anything but festive...


There is of course no continuous deafening cracker noise either... just pitter patter rain drops
and there are no 'lights and more lights'...


This diwali has been unconventional in so many ways...


For one... the entire family is not at home... Miss you monster.
It simply doesnt feel like Diwali this year...


Well... Ek diwali aisi bhi :D 
Hope the coming year is as unconventional (but good) as was this Diwali... 
Enjoy and Happy Diwali :)

Blood Soup!

It is an interesting concoction of beetroot and carrot and is my mom's signature soup recipe...

And it tastes surprisingly yummy despite its 'bloody' unappetizing looks…

I would always call it "raktacha soup" and my mom would always scold me for calling it that.

To further irritate her, I and the hairy monster  would suggest to her that she should serve it in 

'human skull bowls' with spoons made of bones for the right effect :)

"We are all draculas tonight"

And that would always get us the usual "vajvayla pahije changla tumhala" from her… :)

Well, today I tried making the blood soup and nostalgia hit me.

This is the 50th post on my blog - and it is dedicated to the Hairy monster - who, as I realised, has received surprisingly low footage on this blog.

This one's for all the fights we've had, the jokes we've shared, the endless leg pulling and everything :)

Cheers to us (touchwood)…

Awww...

The post was to be about things that make me go awww…And I realised that lately I have been awwwing a lot… thanks to mr. Offsid.


He is the latest addition to the list of important people in my life. He is important coz he is marrying neha mordia. And he is called offsid coz he met her in office and there is a long story etc - lets cut it… I mean the story. The prefix shall remain :)


There aint many men who can make not just their girl but also her friends go awww

He is one of those.

He writes poems for her on her birthday… mails her friends to ask her what would make her happy…writes a beautiful (mushy… not eeeuuu mushy but beautiful mushy) speech for her and reads it out before getting down on one knee to propose her on their engagement…

Knows exactly which flowers she loves and never misses an opportunity to give them to her…

Awwww I mean seriously awww…


I always thought such men did not exist.. Or even if they did, they would mostly fall into the cookie cutter mold category…

But he surprisingly doesn't... 

Which is perfect… simply perfect.

And since it is customary to warn you of a few things… here you go Mr offsid,

1. Never stop awwwing us. Seriously. You, by doing all the above things, have raised the standards for yourself… which I am sure you will only keep raising… and we will look forward to loads of more awwwing :)

2. I know you already know this mordia bitch quite well, but it is my duty to let you know a few important things…

The girl you are marrying is crazy… to say the least…  :) 

She will be your best pal or worst enemy… she doesn't understand much bout the rest of the spectrum… 

And since you are on the extreme of the better part of this spectrum, your life is going to be super crazy, and you shall love it... 

Though she appears to be a tough nut and tries to show that she is one of those I-give-a-damn people… she is not. She does give more than a damn bout many things :) 

3. We (I and raji) would obviously keep being an important part of neha's life - so you have no option but to like us :) 

And you might as well start right away… to know us more, please arrange for a nice trip to Goa soon!! :) 

4. For any advice on how to solve any issues related to this lady, feel free to get in touch with us any day any time… 

Last but not the least,

Cheers and have an awesome life ahead…

May neha make cloud 99 her permanent residence and needless to say, we shall always be there for you :) 

(Awww to myself…)

Loads of luv, wishes and prayers to both of you.