Priceless

So how do you become a mom?

There is a traffic island at bandra which says "a child gives birth to a mother".

Well, so does giving birth make you a mom? Hardly. Giving birth only makes you a tired, aching, cranky, sleep-deprived, and an odd-shaped woman. Not a mother.

Becoming a mother takes so much more than giving birth!

And pregnancy is the easiest part :-)

So when during pregnancy you had mood swings which got the better of you...

Who was there to bear them? Mom (husbands apart)

When you delivered, and came out, and could hardly manage to sit, forget feeding, who helped you sit up and feed each time? Mom

When you were hardly able to get out of the bed, and did not do much apart from feeding your baby and eating and sleeping, who ensured that you got all the right nutrition, meals at the right time? Mom

When you cried because you found the entire process overwhelming, who helped you deal with it? Mom

When your baby began to wail and just would not calm down, you got worked up and shouted at whom? Mom

When you got anxious about how will you manage your job and the baby, who gave you strength? Mom

When in the middle of the night, your baby woke up and you were too sleepy to put him to sleep, who stayed up all night and told you to sleep? Mom

When the hormones got better of you and the cranky baby wouldnt let you calm down, who did you hand over the baby to? Mom

Who taught you to change diapers, feed the baby, clothe the baby, clean the baby, love the baby? Mom

Whose repeated advice about eating well, sleeping well you kept ignoring? Mom's

Where did your baby learn all those goofy songs from? Mom

Who compromised her work to make sure you were comfortable? Mom

Who stayed away from her home at your home to help you get going with baby care? Mom

And who do you therefore miss terribly when the baby gets cranky now and you are on your own? Mom

And they say a child gives birth to a mother? I disagree.

A mother gives birth to a mother.

As the old mastercard ad goes,

Hospital bill of having a baby: rs 50000

All the baby gear and clothes: rs 15000

Having a full time nanny: rs 8500

Having your mom to help you become a mom : Priceless

1 year of missing you

Dear Ajji,

Hope this letter finds you in a great 'spirit'. Literally.
I am not usually much of a believer in life after death and spirits etc. But in your case, I have made an exception. It is easier that way.

I believe you are present around us in spirit...
nodding your head in disapproval everytime we have baths after 10 am...:-)

This letter to you I am writing on the day of your shraddh.
Which also happens to be the beginning of a new year.

So let me at the outset tell you that your unnecessary worrying about whether we will remember you once you are gone, was completely as I said, unnecessary.

We remember you. Every time we have pav bhaji, or dabeli.
We remember you each time we go to 'ajjichi kholi' (yes we still call it that).. I remember you when I wash my face and mess the wash basin.. I can in fact hear you telling me not to splash so much water!

We remember you. Yes. And a lot. So be happy.
Let me also share with you some key updates of the year.
Firstly, your family tree this year saw an expansion with two babies... Geet and Kabir.
(I know you might not have approved of the name Kabir... :-)
The tree that I planted in your memory, bucha cha zaad, is seeing rapid growth...
And yes! Aplya limbachya zadala finally limba ali ya varshi.. 12 varshanni!

So all in all a good year 2013... But yes, we missed you.
I really wish Kabir would have gotten a chance to meet you in person. Though I know you bless him nonetheless.

They say kids can see and talk to friendly spirits... Is that why he keeps staring at your photo all the time? I wonder.

Today, in your memory, we are going to have an awesome meal... And we know you will be present there, to enjoy it with us.

Love you.

Always your favourite naat ;-)

Pallu

1 month young, already!

Raji maasi: "One month? Already?"
Mom: "Yeah! I survived!!"
Neha maasi: "Of course you did, dodo"
Mom: "No really, I indeed wondered at times if I would..."

Me: "and dude, I survived you too!!"

Mom has been planning to post about me since 7/11/13 
but of course I have ensured she hardly got time.

I have now trained her to change my nappy fast (her best time is 12 sec), feed me promptly when needed, and to hold me close to her when i wish to sleep (listening to her heart beat. :-)

Once, I heard her cribbing to Asha Ajji that she is tired and sleep deprived.. 

so to motivate her, every once in a while I give her one of my cutest smiles, like the one in the video below... and she gets hyper excited, it is funny...

And I wonder, what is the big deal here? I only smiled, right...? but well, whatever keeps her going...

So let me introduce myself. My name is Kabir alias Bhishek alias babbby alias piddu alias... sigh... wonder what my real name is indeed...

As it happened, on the morning of November 7, mom told me that it is time... That I have to now come out. I was excited. 

At my birth, in the operation theatre, I could hear many voices, laughing, cracking jokes, Dr Neeta, Dr Sachin, Dr Prashant, Milind Kaka, papa, and even Nitu Maushi! It was like a party... I smiled. 

To be born in a party seemed nice.

After some time, I felt a strong tug, and pull, and I was yanked out of my home of 9 months by Dr Neeta Maushi, and I took my first breath.

My gender was thereby announced, breaking a 9 month suspense...

My mom, being the hopelessly sentimental bloke that she is, began weeping...and Dad, not to miss a moment, kept video shooting me!

After Milind Kaka announced that "All is well" I was brought out... To meet the rest of my family...

And woah! I came to know that I was a celebrity! I felt like the paparazzi was waiting for my arrival, cameras went on a frenzy, there were ooohs and aaahs and everyone wanted to hold me, such cute chaos... 
It was my day. And I loved it.. :-)

The past one month has been challenging. I indeed learned to breathe and digest my own food... No mean achievement that!

and i am growing fast! Each day I am changing my sleep patterns, the way i look, or cry or even feed... 

and so Mom keeps fretting and pestering Milind Kaka about everything, right from my snoring, to my meal timings to every small mark on my body to even my potty colour.. And he patiently tries to put her worries to rest.

I keep trying to tell her that I am indeed perfect, but she does not listen... Moms, I tell you... **eyes rolling** 

In the past month I have tried to understand stuff here; what is world and life... 

So basically the world revolves around me. 

And in this world are people who love me and cannot stop talking about me. 

Apart from mom and dad, there is Asha Ajji who sings funny songs to put me to sleep... Ratnakar Aaba whose tummy is superbly comfy to sleep on... 

Then there is Sujata Ajji who misses me a lot and keeps coming to visit me every few days... and cant keep me away when she is around... :-)

Vishwas Aaba is the one with the ipad... he cant stop clicking my photos... 

Nitu Maushi who calls me shhhhooooonnneeee and Milind Kaka who always keeps weighing me.

Sanket Kaka is the one who is responsible for my social media presence. He apparently has put up my snap on something called facebook and lotsa people liked it :-)

Rahul Mama is the one who brought me home from the hospital and decorated the house...

Neha and Raji maasi are people who my mom continuously yapps with on the phone... 

And Aaru Dada is the one who calls me eeeeeeee...

So that is how I see the world, and I love it :-)

Soon I shall be acquiring newer skills and also become cuter (yeah cant believe there still is room for that eh?) 

and will keep you updated by hijacking my mom's blog once in a while to write to you...

love talking to you guys.

till then... ciao.

Nostalgia

It's 11th of September today. A day which each year evokes a strong sense of nostalgia.

Exactly 12 years ago, this day marked the beginning of one of the most important phases of my life.

There are a few moments in life which you will remember right till you are 85 years old, when you forget where you kept your dentures, or walking stick…

But ask me then what happened on 11th September 2001 and I will still tell, in a shaking voice, but brightly lit eyes (remember the old lady in Titanic movie recalling her journey??)

'So it was 11th Sept 2001, the day I left home, for the first time, and forever.

There was my mom, standing below the street light, around 7 pm… when it was almost dark… and also Neha's mom was there…

And me and Neha were walking towards C block of COEP hostel, and on that narrow path, with trees on both sides while I was walking, I was aware of my mom standing right behind bidding me goodbye…

but I did not turn around and look at her because I knew at that moment that I would begin crying like a baby'

I have lived this scene a 100 times before, and I can still remember it as if it happened only yesterday :)

The other day, I watched an episode in Modern Family (for those unaware of it - it’s a sitcom) when Claire (the mom) drops off her daughter Hailey to her college. 

And how Hailey, initially embarrassed about her mom and dad making a big fuss of her moving out of home, becomes super emotional once they have left and calls her mom who is crying on her way back home.

And for the first time, I saw the same 'mom-under-street-lamp' scene from my mom's angle…

How will it feel when I drop off my baby to college? I know the day is far…

I could not help feel a weird feeling - a feeling I had never experienced before - a feeling which had immense amount of love, care, pride and concern in it… all at the same time…

(For the baby who is kicking me away to glory right now from inside) :|

Yes mom, now I know what you meant by 'tumhi aai zalyavar kalel tumhala' :) :)

touchwood

PS: A few super senti posts will be coming up on this blog for a while... pregnancy apparently does that to you. Please tolerate.

Daddy's Little Girl

First the 2 lines…

Then some confusion… and then some more confusion and then the smile…

The feeling takes time to sink in. The fears take time to go. A lot of time. Maybe 9 whole months?

Then there is the pampering… and a lot of it.

Attention and a lot of it.

You change, your life changes… getting into the smallest denim is not the agenda in the morning…

But packing food… and lots of it, is.

Eating right, sleeping right, reading right, and laughing right is the focus…

A small 'aah' can get your husband to rush to you :)

And waiting for it to kick becomes the most important wait…ever...

Slowly you empty your wardrobe of all the clothes that made you look hawwt awesome…

And replace them with clothes which make you look mommy awesome…(u still look hawwt though)

Life changes. Is an understatement.

You have a whole new set of things to fall in love with. Your round and big and beautiful belly, those sonography photos, the daily dose of kicks, and a doting father-to-be :)

But somewhere you wonder if you indeed are ready for this?

Inside of you, you still feel like the Daddy's little girl … who has her own set of tantrums, insecurities… 

who needs  pampering herself… who is actually self-centred and at times could not care beyond herself…

Is this little girl ready for the biggest responsibility ever? 

Is she ready to grow up and be this mature woman she now will have to be? 

Will this little girl be able to do what is needed here, well?

And somewhere a voice says to her - 'yes she will… '

And not despite of being that little girl, but because somewhere she still has that little girl in her :)

Touchwood.

A strange stirring

And then a surge of excitement starts to fill you

and you see it in everything you hear or see

you feel like there is something inside you waiting to burst out

and you have never felt so passionate before

Then you wonder what is it about?

and your oversmart mind begins to rationalise something so magical

It wonders if it is temporary or 

is the universe indeed conspiring?

everything around you is trying to tell you that

now is the time and 'now' will never disappoint you

yet crazy as you are, you wait 

wondering if this feeling is permanent or a passing phase

secretly hoping it is not...

no no no hope it is not

Where does one draw a line?

Yes marriage changes a lot of things.

For example, a messy house never bothered me much before I was married!

Why this suddenly?

Well, currently at work I am going through a phase I call ‘madness’

During ‘madness’ you eat-drink-sleep office.

There is so much work to do that you dread weekends because that means there will be a sudden break to the madness and picking it up where you left will be even more difficult.

It is a phase in which you can expect calls at 11:30 pm (on a Sunday) and also calling your boss / agency at any such time is considered perfectly normal.

‘Taking leave’ is a taboo word and anyone uttering it risks being killed merely by looks.

You wake up at 5 am suddenly and start making mental to-do list.

Then you wake up at 5:15 am worrying you may forget this to-do list and hence note it in your phone in whatever spellings you can possibly think of in the half zonked state.

Yes. Madness. That is what is happening right now.

So, this Madness usually does manage to bring out the best in me... I can put in 25 hours in a day and work like a mad woman and get through the madness with job substantially well done.

But yes, in the wake, the house gets messy. Really messy.

And it did not matter when I stayed alone or with roomies.

But now it does. It also matters when the bai does not show up on time. And in the madness, Bai is also on my mind! (I am so surprised).

Marriage changes and how.

It bothers me when I realise that the weekend just went by without me going grocery shopping or simply going out with Salil.

It does pinch when for a few evenings consecutively I go off to sleep on my laptop and wake up and leave home without exchanging a few coherent non-work related sentences with him.

And it bothers me that the fridge is not stocked and it bothers me that the kitchen has utensils all over the place...

And then i wonder is it worth it? Where does one draw a line? What is the whole point?

How long should these phases be allowed to last? 1 month, may be 2? A year?

... and how does one make up for them?

PS: I only have like 5 mins to write and post this, so please excuse any typos.

If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try - Seth Godin

I feel like writing today. After a long long time. Could be a function of a completely relaxed Saturday, coupled by a feeling of things-seem-to-be-on-track-for-now in office and a fact that now I have mastered driving too - giving me a new feeling of independence.

Basically, all in all I feel quite positive about things in general (touchwood). 

Recently, while working on an idea for a one of my brands, I was trying to understand what is on the minds of women generally...educated women, married not too long back, may have a kid...a small survey kind of made me feel both intrigued and relieved.

Intrigued because, almost 99% of women said they wanted Stability and Security from life in the longer run... not money, not career not achievement... but security. (And I thought with all the women empowerment shows, themes and stuff, atleast a good number of women now wanted a decent career and retire at a respectable position alongwith stability security etc. but nope. and these were seemingly career oriented women!)

Relieved because, all of them said that their single biggest challenge was managing the various responsibilities that life brought onto them and especially marriage. they thought the world was tough, but if she stayed on top of things it was good...

I felt relieved because I thought I am the only one who is seeing this as her single biggest challenge in life today.

Marriage changes. and how. Basically it is only economics at the end of the day. Scarce resources such as time and mind share need to be optimised to ensure maximum returns.

time. distributing it between home, office and office work at home and home work at office.

mind share. compartmentalisation of office and home and office politics and relationships.

It is difficult but enjoyable. Really. It makes you feel alive. A wierd kind of alive feeling. A feeling wherein you are running and running and running and tired and running and very tired and running and when you briefly realise that you are enjoying being tired... and why?

because now, you are creating something. 

Till date, it was all about you being created. You being made. you being taken care of. Now it is the other way round. The joy of creation is exhilarating. 

Responsibility can give you a high. 

Loving it for now... totally!

...and this makes it completely worth it :)

PS: This is Being Missus - Part 2 :)

Being Missus - Part 1

The rebel in me was always very clear on one thing…

Life is too short to waste it on boring activities like cooking!!

"I will keep a full time  cook" I would tell my mom… and of course I will ensure that I can afford to keep one :)

I will once in a while try exotic stuff like pastas and pizzas…

And that is about it.

I also once thought that marrying a chef therefore would be a brilliant idea…

But either the rebel in me has died or being a Missus has changed me so much that

I am in love with my kitchen.
And the red masala box is my favorite item in the house.

My favourite app on my droid phone is the one that gives me all sort of recipes including the typical ones like 'vatli daal'!!

My last thought while sleeping each night is - what to cook next day morning...

And I actually tell my husband that we will carry tiffin on a picnic instead of eating out while he insists on the  later...

Yeah mom - you are reading your daughter's blog. No mistake there. And plz wipe those tears… :)

I guess having a proper full fledged kitchen alongwith a super cute hus-baand who patiently  praises/encourages every experiment of mine helps!

I don’t know if I have indeed discovered a new passion…or is it just an initial euphoria...

But I intend to enjoy it to the fullest while it lasts! :)

PS:  The droid app also has a feature wherein you can enter specific items in your kitchen and it will suggest recipes best suited using those!! Now how cool is that!! :) :) :)

Dear Blog,

6 months is a long time I know… and I am sorry… and… what? Of course I missed you! And thought about you so many times!

...Oh come on now... Its true!

Please believe me sweetheart… these past 6 months were the most important 6 months in my life!  It changed so many things!!

...and haven't I always come to you whenever I underwent any major change in my life?

But this time I did not...cause this time, though the change - I was not confused. I really wasn’t.

I know I know… I also come to you when I am not confused and just want to express how I feel!

But this time though I wanted to scream shout and paint the sky rainbow… I was also slightly scared and got a little superstitious (..yeah yeah despite the certainty)

But now all is well and therefore I am back :)

Will certainly give you more time… promise.

By the way… suddenly there are so many things / people / tasks I have to distribute my time amongst...and therefore priortize etc!

I now truly fully understand the importance of all the articles that spoke about time management, work-life balance etc…

And I now also understand and forgive people who suddenly lost touch after getting married…

I can totally understand why… :)

But Blog, I promise to keep you high on my priority list. Truly.

With luv,

ME!